...sputter, sputter, whine, whine.
It's too hot without any change in sight, at least not this week:
"Another impressively dry and very hot week ahead for Southern Ontario. Dew points between 20-25c will create high to extreme humidity readings peaking on Thursday/Friday. The heat and humidity will begin building through Southern Ontario Tuesday, and peak Friday. Temperatures will soar into the low-mid 30's Thursday and Friday feeling like 40-47c for many once you factor in the humidity!"
"Impressively"??? Not in my books! I've got my cranky pants on and darn little can even get close to being impressive. But you've heard this song and dance over and over again this tepid season.
So what else is new?
Well my inner critic is alive, well and very happy! She's having a whale of a time and getting high on her own fumes too. According to this mouthy broad, there is no end to the list of my shoulds and oughts, incompletes and outright failures. As if that litany of criticisms were not enough, she knows that if she casts such charges within the dark cloak of aging, she can really cut me to the quick.
Her sorcery distorted the bathroom mirror this morning. Some old lady's face stared blankly back at me. "Your not one of the cool kids anymore," the critic cackled, "you're just an old fart!" And I took the bait - hook, line and sinker, especially the sinker.
There are times to shut the inner critic up, drop kick her out of earshot and this morning was surely one of them. But of course it was too late. She had landed the blow.
There are also times to let the herald of negative self-judgement rant, let her barrage of outlandish insults pile up in some insignificant corner as crumpled up rejection notices. Sometimes there is a kernel of wisdom buried within that heap of complaint. For me that wisdom is about acceptance: I'm not thirty anymore. Dammit, but I'm just not.
But don't think for a moment that this all means I'll be pulling up a rocking chair and doing some knitting (stitches too tight, too loose, dropped stitches - I hate knitting!) anytime soon.
Some of my days are made for pull-out-all-the-stops action.
Some are made for do-nothing quiet.
Most of my days are a bit of both in dynamic proportion.
All of my days are made to be enjoyed, savoured, and celebrated.
And I think my inner critic has had more than enough face-time this month.
Environment Canada has just issued a Heat Warning... AGAIN!
So, I can be found doing one of two things - either watching the Summer Olympics or planning our next great adventure, and perhaps even both at the same time!
©2016 April Hoeller