Monday, 22 August 2016

Monday Moanings - August 22, 2016

Coming of Age

What a sublime joy it is to partake of all the benefits of the mature years! I am privileged to take my place in the circle of grey temples and fallen arches, wrinkles and bottom-heavy hour glasses.

Why just this morning, while most of you were still cosy in dreamland, I was already up and out making the most of one of the truly special benefits of my age.

This occasion was so special, so very important to me that I began preparing for it yesterday.

Cloistered within the walls of my house I cleansed myself of all impurity and fasted from all but clear broth and water.

Hardly a pleasant experience, but life's special moments are not meant to be taken lightly, but rather discreetly, advisedly, soberly and in the fear of God.

And let me tell you if four 5mg Ducolax® tabs, 300ml of CitraMag® and 2 sachets of Pico-Salax® taken over a course of 12 hours doesn't put the fear of God into you; doesn't move you to be afraid, sore afraid; if it doesn't bring forth an urgency that has you begging for mercy, well then nothing will.

But that was yesterday.

Today the colonoscopy - a little uncomfortable but the drugs are fun. Make no mistake, a colonoscopy will never make it onto my list of top ten fun things to do, but it is on my top ten list of health checks.

Today's result: 2 small polyps, which were removed. While this isn't the all clear I had 10 years ago, it's still a good result.  My next colonoscopy will be sooner rather than later - not the 10 year interval I just had, but more like 2-5 years.

Fine by me.

For my new GP and I, our job together is to get me to 80, a good, confident, robust 80. Because I don't meet the criteria for the FOBT or newer FIT stool tests, a colonoscopy it has to be.

An afternoon spent with my backside firmly planted on the white porcelain throne, occasionally spewing expletives along with everything else that had ever been inside my digestive system, followed by 10 minutes for the scope, seems a small price to pay.

For all of us between 50 and 75, screening for colorectal cancer is important, no matter how unpleasant or distasteful it may be. Think of it as a coming of age kind of thing, a rite of passage into the ranks of the grey temples and fallen arches.

Live long and prosper.

©2016 April Hoeller


  1. Replies
    1. Thank you Deb. Prevention is what it's all about.

  2. Good advice! As you may know with my history( colorectal cancer diagnosed at age 50) I have had dozens of these periscope procedures. Now I am down to one every five years! Whoop de Do! Anyway...I encourage everyone to have this done. It is a small inconvenience in the grand scheme of things.

    1. Yep, set an example and just do it.
      Thank you for taking the time to comment, Leueen.

  3. I chuckled at "bottom-heavy hour glasses" without realising that by the time I finish reading this post, I'd be feeling your discomfort (colonoscopy sounds that way).
    Good advice-- beautifully expressed.
    And here's to a robust you:) Cheers!