Thursday 28 May 2020

Thursday, or Thereabouts - May 28, 2020

In the Doldrums


It's that kind of day here, inside and out. Three days of blazing sun and high humidity have given way to overcast skies but still very humid air as we await the heavy rains forecast for later today courtesy of topical depression Bertha. I've had what feels like a busy week. By what I once knew as normal, there wasn't a lot of activity, not an overflowing list of accomplishments to show, but in this pandemic world, a ninety-minute virtual meeting, a thirty-minute workout with my personal trainer via Zoom, and a trip into the heart of downtown Toronto for an annual check of my retinal scarring (good result: no significant change = no surgery) has somehow sucked the stuffing out of me. 

This not quite so ancient mariner has sailed into the doldrums.

Day after day, day after day,
We stuck, no breath no motion;
As idle as a painted ship
Upon a painted ocean.
from The Rime of the Ancient Mariner, Samuel Taylor Coleridge

I know where I am. I know that soon the winds will pick up and I'll be on my way again under full sail. In the meantime, I'll sit up on deck and befriend the calm, enjoy the stillness, and await the freshening breeze. Besides, good things are growing right outside my door!


Still keeping it together apart,
Take Care.
Be well.


©2020 April Hoeller




Monday 25 May 2020

Monday Meander - May 25, 2020

Report from the blankie fort - Week 11



Throw off the blankies! It's way too hot here for layers. Summer it seems has grown impatient as Spring foot-dragged her way along and now has unleashed her hot-breathed dragon. It's 30°C (86°F) as I write this with 70% humidity. While points to the north got a deluge of rain last night, we got just 5mm. Still, it was enough to bring out an explosion of pine pollen and an eruption of my asthma. So today is an indoor day - a sealed up full-on A/C day.


I hope the bears in the window will enjoy the sauna they are about to get in the sunroom today. I'll keep an eye on them for any signs of heat stress. 


Today I'm remembering wind in my face bike riding, 5¢ popsicles, 10¢ ice cream cones, Coppertone® suntan lotion (no sunscreen!), big circulating fans swirling in the windows (the only A/C back in the day), family bbq's and a backyard pool that made summer an absolute delight.


I know we all want to get out of this tight space we're in right now but the fastest way out of this is to stay put.

Be one of the cool kids -
Stay Home!



©2020 April Hoeller

Thursday 21 May 2020

Thursday, or Thereabouts - May 21, 2020

It's beautiful day in the neighbourhood

And it's the second one in a row! Woot woot! We're on a roll with sunshine and warmth - normal for May, not new nor old but a fresh and oh so welcome normal. 

Here's what it looks like -
On the land

Wild Strawberry

Periwinkle

Dandelions - always a happy face!

red trilliums

In the garden




Apple blossom just waiting to burst

And no May would be normal without the annual delivery of winter firewood.



Ready! Set! Go!


Enjoy the normal wherever, whenever you can get it.

Still keeping it together apart,
Take Care.
Be well.



©2020 April Hoeller





Monday 18 May 2020

Monday Meander - May 18, 2020 (Victoria Day)

Report from the blankie fort - Week 10


It's Victoria Day, a holiday Monday capping off what has traditionally been the three-day stretch of gardens, bbq's, beer, and fireworks as the folks in these parts celebrate not so much the late great grand queen, as the first long weekend of the summer season. In any other year that I've known, this is the weekend that garden centres, hardware stores, and gas companies get really excited about as winter-weary Ontarians dig out the planting gear and drive to the garden centre to buy bedding plants; haul out the lawnmower and drive to the hardware store to get parts to make it work; and/or drive up to the cottage then drive to the hardware store and garden centre to get parts and plants. Oh, and beer. There's got to be beer.

Not so this year. The siege of CoVID-19 continues and though the hardware stores and garden centres are now open, there are restrictions and in my case apprehension about rushing out there to shop. Cottage country holds the same apprehension as local authorities struggle to find a middle ground between health risk and economic ruin. It's a tough call for all of us everywhere. 

Grand displays of fireworks have been snuffed out by regulation and today's all-day rain. I know our dog will be most happy about that. She gets terribly upset with all the snap, crackle and boom. But I love fireworks and always have. Ah well, another time.


All is not lost. Saturday we were treated to amazing warmth and sunshine - just the ticket to get me up and out of the despair of virtual meetings and digital overload and into the world right outside my door. I washed the front windows removing winter's grime and improving the view immensely. I turned over two garden plots and cleaned out the rest. 


I lectured the bunny about not eating the freshest tulip blooms nor the tender just-greening Sweet William. 

Naughty Bunny!

I cheered on the visiting duck whom I have named Daffodil. She's been dropping by daily for over a week now to waddle and dabble underneath my birdfeeders and drink from the birdbath.


I scrubbed down the bbq, checked the gas cylinder and jets, then cleaned and seasoned the cast iron grills. 
Bring on the burgers and the beer! 

with a side of zucchini, tomatoes, mushrooms & cheese


I'm quite content to rest today, savouring the joys of being well, well-worked, and well-fed by gardens, a bbq and some beer. Three out of four traditions for this weekend makes it a solid 75% success. SCORE!  The last word on this Victoria Day Weekend the 2020 Edition appropriately goes to the grand lady herself, Queen Victoria:
 

"We are not interested in the possibilities of defeat. 
They do not exist."




©2020 April Hoeller


Thursday 14 May 2020

Thursday, or Thereabouts - May 14, 2020

Not quite zooming along...


I'm fighting a hangover from yesterday's virtual meetings. Both meetings accomplished what they set out to do. Both outcomes were good enough. But I struggled. My natural gifts honed by training and decades of practice have given me the ability to read a meeting room quickly. I can feel the energy and know whether it is positive or negative, safe or not. I can sense who is comfortable and who is not, who is keen to be present and who is going through the motions, who is burdened and who is free, and from that information I know where I need to be in that room, who I need to support, and what I need to do and say. 

In the world of virtual meetings, all the cues, (body language, breathing pattern, small facial expressions, murmurs of agreement or dissent, etc.) that I use to discern my place in the company of others are unavailable. Yesterday that fact smacked me upside the head and knocked me clear off my feet. I was so far out of my element that I had no idea what to say. Easily ninety percent of what I wanted to say never made it to spoken word. By the end of the last meeting, I felt stupid, old, and useless. I know that I'm actually none of those things (vintage maybe, but not old!) but feelings are neither good nor bad, they just are, and I felt them. 

I had to get out of the house. I headed into the forest looking for clarity and solace. I cried. 



I'm still in a funk today. How am I going to function in this evolving virtual world?  Do I even want to function in it? Is this really the way of the future? As a temporary and essential measure, I can learn to cope with digital meetings. My inner critic is cackling "Suck it up, buttercup. It's the way it has to be right now."  And I will figure it out and it will be good enough, but I don't see how an electronic meeting will ever be as informative, energized, and most importantly creative as being in the same room with people who share a mission, a goal, and objectives.

I'm going to sit with my discontent today, let it run its course, and then I'll get back to work tomorrow.

Together Apart
I can do this.
We can do this.




©2020 April Hoeller

Monday 11 May 2020

Monday Meander - May 11, 2020

Report from the blankie fort - Week 9


Not much has changed except you may note a patch of white in the upper centre of the bears' lookout. That is SNOW and it has been a feature of the view for much of this weekend. In this house the only one thrilled about that is the resident canine, Sophie.


Making snow angels is an absolute delight for her! Me? Well, in December it might be fun and worth a giggle but in May - not so much! Snow is not entirely unheard of in May in these parts, but it's always been a passing thing, some flurries and wind, lasting no more than half a day and not accumulating! I don't ever recall a time in the 40+ years that we have lived here that our woodstove has been fired up in May, but there it is, bright with warmth and cheer.
 

It seems that just when a few pandemic restrictions were being loosened, just when it was beginning to look like we could be a little freer outside, just when cabin fever was beginning to cause some to ignore the precautions, the weather gods sent the Polar Vortex our way keeping us sheltered in place with a force field of cloud, snow, cold, and wind. For the first time in a very long time, there were no hanging baskets of cheerful blooms outside my house for Mother's Day. The garden centres were open but one look at the forecast of overnight below-freezing temperatures until maybe mid-week and I knew that the flowers were best to remain ladies in waiting at the nursery.

My daffodils are hanging on...

Last year at this time the hummingbirds and orioles had made their annual appearance at the feeders. Not so this year - yet, though I have heard reports of them being very near. Perhaps the white covering over the feeders is just too discouraging for them too. It certainly has the goldfinches in a flap!


Spring will show up, if but only for a few days before being blasted away by blazing summer. The hummingbirds will come, the orioles will come, all the birds of summer will show up when it is good for them.  And when it is good for us, we too will all show up where we want to be.

Make this a good week nine. 
We can do this. 
Together Apart.




©2020 April Hoeller





Friday 8 May 2020

Thursday, or Thereabouts - on FRIDAY - May 8, 2020

The Shopping Trip

With spontaneity effectively corraled by COVID-19 restrictions, the first major shopping trip to a large chain supermarket in six weeks took some planning. It began two days ago with research on face mask designs and patterns. While there is considerable debate about the efficacy of masks, the official health recommendation is to wear them in places where a 2 metre distance cannot be maintained such as on public transit and in some stores. A major chain supermarket, the one I was planning to go to, had just required that its patrons wear masks. I didn't need a fashion statement, just a simple covering that would do the job well enough. Having found just the ticket with a combination of simple design and low skill level, I then set off to find suitable fabric and some elastic somewhere in the house. For the fabric, a few options readily came to hand mostly in the form of shirts that had seen better days. But the best was one of our dog's bandanas. The collar had worn away yet somehow the piece had yet to make it into the garbage bin and there was enough salvageable material to make the mask. Into the wash it went while I searched for elastic. 

My late mother-in-law was a very accomplished seamstress. She sewed everything from pillowcases to tea towels, to jackets and skirts, dresses, blouses, shirts, and undergarments. I have her sewing basket. 


It is chock full of notions and doodads, reams of seam binding, and spools of thread galore. The treasures in this box had rescued me from so many sewing failures, surely there must be some elastic in it. It's not like I need 500 metres of it, just 40cm.


Eureka!


Rotary cutter in hand and box of pins by my side, I set about preparing the fabric for sewing. Then came the scary part - making friends with my vintage sewing machine again. But I was on a mission. I wanted to go shopping and I needed a mask!  I deplore the increased use of disposables that this pandemic has brought, so with great courage and determination, I hauled out the forty-year-old Kenmore. 


Thirty minutes later, after finding the right thread, figuring out how to load a bobbin and place it in the bobbin case, preparing the needle and top thread, and then picking up the bobbin thread, my sweaty palms gingerly picked up the prepared fabric. Here goes nothing I thought. There were a few tense moments, a few tight turns, but I got a mask! 

This seamstress needs a haircut, but nice mask!

I'm sure my mother-in-law would have suffered a fit of apoplexy had she witnessed my efforts and final higgeldy-piggledy sewing line, but still, when all was said and done, I had a mask and the confidence to make two more!  And if anyone is going to study my stitching, they are standing way too close!


Have mask, will shop. A few phone orders  - the pharmacy for prescription renewals, the pet store for dog biscuits, the feed store for 23kg of nyger seed - along with the compilation of a detailed grocery list, and by 11am today I was ready to head out. I haven't driven the car in three weeks. Will it start? Yes. Will I remember how to drive? Yes! But it felt weird. Oh wait, that's because the winter tires have been switched out for the smoother summer tires.  Okay, I got this. Two curbside pickups and the pharmacy done, then I strolled into the supermarket. I have to say I felt a bit of wonder course through me, a bit of ooh and ahh. Wide aisles and so much colour! It was actually quite delightful. At least until I encountered folks traveling in the wrong direction along the oneway aisles. Yes, it was a bit tedious to have to take the long but compliant route back to an aisle when I missed something on my list, but I got everything I needed and all the staff was cheerful and helpful. It still wasn't a fun experience, but it was pleasant enough, mask and all. The only lineup I encountered was at the pharmacy where I had to wait about fifteen minutes.

Back home the prescriptions, groceries, birdseed, and box of dog biscuits were brought in and wiped down, left to air dry, and then packed away. By 4:30pm yesterday, I could celebrate "Job done!"  The blogpost would have to be an "Or Thereabouts" one. I was knackered. And I know that if sometime in the next two weeks I awake to a passing sneezing or coughing spasm, or a scratchy throat, or just feel punk, I'm going to have to fight off a COVID panic attack all because I dared to go out shopping. Should I whine about this, would someone please remind me that it's pollen season?!

"Courage, my friends; 'tis not too late to build a better world."
Tommy Douglas (1904 - 1986) the father of universal healthcare in Canada.



Take Care.
Be well.
Together Apart
We can do this.




©2020 April Hoeller

 

Monday 4 May 2020

Monday Meander - May 4, 2020

Report from the blankie fort - Week 8


Out of Touch

That sums up my feelings this Monday morning. The world is still out there but it's largely inaccessible, out of contact, and removed from my daily experience. All the web communication technology which to me at first offered an exciting and even fun way to connect, at eight weeks on is just not good enough. I miss the total sensory input of connecting with people in person. I miss seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, and touching the experience of meeting together.


Sure there can be opportunities to meet at a distance, but the locations are not normal. They have to be fabricated - a parking lot, my yard, their yard, not the usual restaurant, not the office, not the grocery store, not the coffee shop, not even the park. And there isn't a darn thing that I can do about that.


Last weekend I discovered that finding and doing "normal" things was an antidote. This weekend I discovered that it wasn't fully effective (sounds like the vaccine process?). As I continued the normal job of raking the yard this past Saturday and Sunday, a sense of isolation sprouted in my soul. An obstinate growth that the sight of bright yellow forsythia blossoms, the smell of good earth, the touch of warm spring air, the lively chorus of magnificent birdsong, the taste of a fine merlot that I sipped while sitting in my Muskoka chair outside, could only slow but not eradicate.


(this photo from last year)

I guess I'm going to have to settle for that unwelcome weed in the garden of my soul, and continue to use all the tools at hand - rakes, shovels, lawnmowers, and weed-whackers - to intimidate any growth. There is good news today - the garden centres and nurseries have been allowed to open (curbside pick-up only). I think I'll order up some colourful baskets of blooms this week. In the meantime, the hummingbird and oriole feeders are ready for customers and the goldfinches are gossipping about it.




Have a happy week eight. 
We can do this. 
Together Apart.




©2020 April Hoeller