I'm fighting a hangover from yesterday's virtual meetings. Both meetings accomplished what they set out to do. Both outcomes were good enough. But I struggled. My natural gifts honed by training and decades of practice have given me the ability to read a meeting room quickly. I can feel the energy and know whether it is positive or negative, safe or not. I can sense who is comfortable and who is not, who is keen to be present and who is going through the motions, who is burdened and who is free, and from that information I know where I need to be in that room, who I need to support, and what I need to do and say.
In the world of virtual meetings, all the cues, (body language, breathing pattern, small facial expressions, murmurs of agreement or dissent, etc.) that I use to discern my place in the company of others are unavailable. Yesterday that fact smacked me upside the head and knocked me clear off my feet. I was so far out of my element that I had no idea what to say. Easily ninety percent of what I wanted to say never made it to spoken word. By the end of the last meeting, I felt stupid, old, and useless. I know that I'm actually none of those things (vintage maybe, but not old!) but feelings are neither good nor bad, they just are, and I felt them.
I had to get out of the house. I headed into the forest looking for clarity and solace. I cried.
I'm still in a funk today. How am I going to function in this evolving virtual world? Do I even want to function in it? Is this really the way of the future? As a temporary and essential measure, I can learn to cope with digital meetings. My inner critic is cackling "Suck it up, buttercup. It's the way it has to be right now." And I will figure it out and it will be good enough, but I don't see how an electronic meeting will ever be as informative, energized, and most importantly creative as being in the same room with people who share a mission, a goal, and objectives.
I'm going to sit with my discontent today, let it run its course, and then I'll get back to work tomorrow.
Together Apart
I can do this.
We can do this.
©2020 April Hoeller
I get it. I think that it will be more often in the way forward after CV19. But picking up the subliminal messages in a room will not happen in virtual meetings. You are right.
ReplyDeleteI was a fish out of water in those meetings last week. Without my customary tools of visual and not so visual cues, I could not get any oxygen into my experience. It was a shock to my system. But now - Onwards!
DeleteThanks for stopping by to comment. Much appreciated.
Who likes virtual meetings? No worries April! I am personally very "techy" and dislike them I see them similar as my grandparents would recall their first long distance phonecalls, there is no way they could express much by yelling to one another in the line.
ReplyDeleteIt will get better, I hope. Just use them to know everybody is well.
Stay safe!
So lovely to hear from you Jon. You have been in my thoughts as I learned of your country's struggle with CoVID-19. Your counsel to just use the digital meetings to know that everyone is well, is very wise. Thank you.
DeleteYou stay well too.
My very best wishes.