Forty-four years ago today I was enjoying the last day of my life as a single woman, or as read in the banns of marriage, "a spinster of this parish."
All of 22 years old and already a spinster. Imagine that! The old church language would seem to have credited me with far more experience than I actually had.
I was still living at home in 1975 and like my older sister before me and my younger after me, I went directly from my parents' home to married life without ever truly experiencing the world as a single woman. In 1975 that's the way it was for many women.
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| 1970 |
This never bothered me back in the day. I never thought for a moment that I was missing out on an integral piece of life - making it on my own in the world. But now my love and I have both crossed the mid-sixties age line.
Sometimes gloomy thoughts invade my space. The day may well come when I will have to go it alone and I have never had to fend for myself. I don't know the first thing about it. If I had to do it all over again, knowing what I know now, of course, I'd have taken some time on my own, just a couple of years to learn something about it all. Hindsight is such a marvelous thing, isn't it?
It's best not to get too caught up in such solemn truths, yet it's also folly to deny them, so I'll just render the grim realities a brief nod of acknowledgment, then carry on through our days together.
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| 1972 |
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| September 6, 1975 |
In 1975 I was thrilled to be marrying my high school sweetheart, the love of my life. The wonderful world lay before us and we wanted to live it together.
We still do.
On this night forty-four years ago, my boyfriend and I went out on our last date as singles.
The midnight curfew was still in effect but I scared the bejeezus out my folks by returning home at ten.
The colour slowly drained from Mom's face and Dad walked toward me, arms outstretched, "Everything all right, dear?"
"Yup, everything is perfect.
And it still is.
Grow old along with me!
The best is yet to be,
The last of life, for which the first was made:
Our times are in His hand
Who saith "A whole I planned,
Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!
Robert Browning
©2019 April Hoeller
