For those who aren't familiar with the term, according to the fount of all knowledge, Google®, FUBAR has its origins in 1940's military jargon. The acronym politely translates to Fouled Up Beyond All Recognition. You can guess the impolite though more accurate translation, I'm sure.
Spring in southern Ontario is FUBAR'd!
My hand is forced this day to pen a letter of remonstrance...
My dear Lady of Radiant Joy,
I do so love your annual visits - your soft fingers of brightness empower my post-winter days, stirring me to new hopes, new dreams, coaxing new life out of my hibernating soul. Your fresh greens and blossoms full of promise are the delight of my days.
And oh how I thrill to the solar system's announcement of your opening day. BUT it has now been over three weeks since the Sun's proclamation and you have yet to grace my doorstep.
There is much grumbling in the realm, my dear. People are rather upset about your absence, so much so that some have filed "Missing Person" reports, while others have declared an "Error 404" condition (file or directory not found). There have also been a few notices of termination issued, pink slips with your name on them and the words, "You're FIRED!"
Can you blame them? Just look at yesterday morning's offering:
"A" for effort on the sunshine; "FUBAR" for overall achievement!
And this morning shows little improvement!
I prefer a conciliatory approach to address this issue with you, a kinder, gentler therapy. I understand how hard it is to face down a blustering winter windbag. I understand your reluctance to stand your ground against a bully who has overstayed his seasonal booking. So, I forgive your meandering March missteps. I forgive your awkward April absence.
Now, how can I help you overcome the obstacles in your way? May I suggest some assertiveness exercises, along with a twelve-step confidence building and self-esteem enhancement program?
All of which will be fast-tracked, I assure you.
Together we can do this.
Come along now dear.
Take my hand and let's get this done.
Hugs & kisses
GET YOUR BACKSIDE IN GEAR -
GET UP, GET DRESSED AND SHOW UP!
(just in case all you really need is a swift kick)
©2018 April Hoeller