Monday Moanings - September 10, 2018

On the Eve of a Seventeenth Anniversary

I'm a little surprised to find myself writing about this today. Until this morning the anniversary of September 11, 2001 wasn't on my radar. But a dreary weather day encouraged a longer than usual perusal of newsfeeds and there it was. Not front page news, but neither buried too deep to find.

Tomorrow will mark an astounding SEVENTEEN years since that frightful day. I suppose it is the realization of just how long ago it was and how that simply doesn't jive with so sharp a memory, that makes this anniversary so captivating.  As I think about tomorrow,  September 11, 2018 questions pop up, the biggest one being, "What have we learned?"

image credit

I struggle to find an answer, any answer.  The best I've come up with so far is that we have learned to be afraid. I don't find that very helpful nor encouraging. How are we better people than we were seventeen years ago? I don't believe for a moment that we are any safer and I can find little evidence that we are truly any wiser. The world is just as vulnerable as it has always been and as human beings in the world, we are pretty much as we've always been -- generous yet also stingy, compassionate and also indifferent, forgiving but also vengeful, loving when we're not hating, capable of great good but just as great (and even greater?) evil.

I believe our greatest freedom is that of choice.  I can choose the better part of whatever a day brings, or not. By a fortunate accident of birth, I got to be brought up and live in a good land and I am privileged to live well here. A few years ago my husband and I traveled to India. I was surprised and utterly amazed by the joyful energy I saw in the faces of Mumbai's poor. The people I saw in the streets, living under the bridges worked hard to make the best of their day and their space in it.

We were told by our guide that the day always begins with an act of gratitude, whether it be a flower or garland brought to the temple, a spice offering at the neighbourhood shrine or a prayer and incense in one's own sacred space.

Perhaps the best thing that I can do on this 9/11 anniversary is to re-dedicate myself to beginning each and every day with gratitude and then consciously choosing the better part whenever I can. The better thoughts -- even when, perhaps even especially when, that means working to reconcile with worst-case scenarios; the better words in all conversations including the ones with myself; the better actions in response to the people and the world I meet.

All life is precious. Handle with care.

©2018 April Hoeller

A to Z Challenge - D is for Debut

On this day in 1953, a debut on the world stage:

And today, another debut...

Officially a senior citizen. Officially an old age pensioner. 

Officially the government's problem (tee hee!). 

Time is such a contrary companion. When I want it to go fast, it crawls. When I want it to slow down, it slams into hyperdrive, and it never stands still no matter how much I plead. While it is an uncomfortable fact of life that many more years lie behind me than ahead of me, what these coming years will bring me is a mystery. And I do like a good mystery, a hands-on adventure!

Mount Misen, Miyajima Japan, 2015

I have learned that there are really only two reasons for doing anything -- love and fear. There's nothing wrong with fear, a healthy, rational fear of real things. The biggest, scariest real thing for me now is future health. It's not just a fly in the ointment, but often seems more on the scale of a velociraptor. My body has already betrayed me in small but undeniable, occasionally embarrassing, ways. So you won't find me mountain climbing, rollerblading, snake charming, bungee jumping, or even doing something so risky as drinking a full glass of water before a half hour car ride.





You will find me working out, walking, eating as I ought, enjoying a glass of wine, or perhaps sipping a cappuccino in a faraway place. You will find me in the company of the people I love, doing the things I love, in the places I love, and grateful for the love and life I am so blessed to experience.



Something else I've learned: life is not about perfection. It took some fifty+ years for this avowed perfectionist to learn this one, and I'm sure refresher courses will always be a part of my life. I've given some considerable thought to this debut over the past weeks, some of it has been rather melancholy (regrets, I've had a few...) but now that I'm here, well it's time to boldly go where many have gone before me - step out into the new day and work it.




Life is about doing the best I can, enjoying each day as it comes. And at the end of the day, it's about being content with what I have done and what I have not done, so that I can look forward to a new day, new joys, new adventures.

“Life is amazing. And then it's awful. 

And then it's amazing again. 

And in between the amazing and awful 

it's ordinary and mundane and routine. 

Breathe in the amazing, 

hold on through the awful, 

and relax and exhale during the ordinary. 

That's just living heartbreaking, 

soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. 

And it's breathtakingly beautiful.”

 L.R. Knost

©2018 April Hoeller