Thursday, or Thereabouts - August 21, 2014

A Great Escape

Sometimes the best thing for me to do, the only thing that I can do to soothe the heartbreak, the turmoil of questions without answers that swirls in my head, the sense of utter helplessness that haunts my soul when world events turn frightful, horrific, and incomprehensible, is seek temporary refuge in images of beauty.

I'm not running away from duties and responsibilities for I have no active role to play in any of the conflicts, epidemics or natural disasters. I have no magic elixir with which to dose the combatants, the casualties, the bereaved. And a kiss will not make it all better.

I give what I can to the NGO's that take no sides but just do what they can to alleviate suffering. Medecins sans Frontieres (MSF) tops my list every time. A few mouse clicks and my donation is done. I feel good about that - for a moment, but then a great wave of helplessness sweeps all that comfort away, a tsunami triggered by conflict in Gaza, the Ukraine, Iraq, Syria, Ebola in Africa, landslides in Japan, and intolerance in Ferguson, Missouri. And that's just the front page of the news this morning. I dare not look any further.

So here I offer you my antidote to the poisonous horror in the news; here I share with you my great escape.
May you find a moment of rest, a sigh of contentment, a smile.

All of the above images were taken at the Royal Botanical Gardens in October of 2011.

©2014 April Hoeller

Thursday, or Thereabouts - August 29, 2013

© April Hoeller

I am off balance, out of sorts, unsettled this morning. While it's not a happy place to be, it's not entirely debilitating; just a knot in my gut accompanied by a heightened state of vigilance. And the source of this disturbance in the force? In a word, Syria. I am a soldier's mother and so there is more to this angst than a profound humanitarian concern; deep heart strings are vibrating.

I know two things as I write this. One, as a sojourner in the global community, a steward of all resources charged with handing on a better world to those who come after me, I cannot abide the use of chemical weapons; I cannot abide any organization, government or otherwise, that unleashes this horror on any community. It's a heinous, criminal act that demands a definitive response, one that not only rebukes in no uncertain terms but also severely limits, if not eliminates, the possibility of any further use.

The second thing I know today is that I'm really glad I'm not one of the world leaders who must take the counsel of the nations and make the decisions which must be made, because there is no right answer, no clear, straight path through the politics, posturing and personalities; no quick way over the borders, barriers and brokenness. I don't have the patience for this task, nor the stomach for it. Those who do must be willing to spend time in a devil's playground where fact and fiction constantly shape-shift in a soup of fear. The best they can do is strive to find that lesser of evils, the one that holds the greatest potential for the welfare of the citizens both now and in the long run. Such decisions cannot possibly be unequivocal.

© Pavel Losevsky - Fotolia.com 

And the soldier's mother? Well this one knows that for the time being, her anxious thoughts are anticipatory, perhaps even imaginary. There will be no immediate involvement for Canadian Forces, but that could change at any time in the coming months. I know well the roller coaster of emotions that an overseas deployment to a war zone brings. No doubt it is my body's memory of that Afghanistan time that is hyping my stress level now. There are many other military moms out there who don't have the luxury of a comfortable distance from the Middle East. I stand with them, hand in hand, watching, waiting, hoping.

If you know a military mom, dad, spouse, sibling, send them a hug today, and thank them for their service.