When I hunkered down in this space away from the world, I thought I'd be here for four weeks, maybe six. But here we all are still inside our fortresses, bear bums and all, at Week 12 of the pandemic state of emergency. Sure, there have been some opening up of retail and recreational spaces, but OMG have you seen the lineups and the crowds!
I understand the rush to break out of the fort, to just get out there and do something normal beyond the boundaries of my own house and property, especially something that includes family and friends, up close and really with us not flatscreen digital projections. I totally get that. But there is nothing I truly need that will have me standing in a two-hour lineup in the blazing sun in order to purchase it. There is nothing I truly need, even social contact, that will allow me to be in a crowd. I'm not yet ready to risk my health nor that of the people I care about to throw caution to the wind.
So what am I ready for? I'm ready to go grocery shopping every week to ten days instead of every two to three weeks. I'm ready to visit a garden center to pick up some annuals to brighten the garden, some dahlias, pansies, and marigolds, and some tasty herbs - basil, rosemary, and coriander. My lineup time limit is twenty minutes and I must be able to keep my distance even with my mask on.
I'm ready to plan a Canada Day Party for July 1, knowing full well that it may be digital, but hoping that there will be at least some loved ones gathered together as we've not done since Christmas.
I'm ready to make the most of every day, come what may. I have days that are etched with discontent. I have days when the perception of confinement angers me. I have days when what I ought not to do and where I ought not to go weighs heavy on my heart. Days when the garden, the yard work, the field of nature right outside my door, the distraction of watching favourite movies just doesn't relieve the grief of things lost to this pandemic.
all of these lamentations are so very first-world...
I am not homeless. I am not starving. I am not being persecuted.
I am safe. I am free. I am well. And for this, I am humbly grateful.
Keep on keeping on Together Apart.
©2020 April Hoeller