The view from here..
Here I sit in my wagon at the top of CoVID Week 23 just rocking back on forth, one foot firmly on the ground ready to push off the other tucked up safe inside not quite ready to launch. Yes, no, maybe. I can't blame the weather for holding me back. It's a lovely sunny summer's morning. So what's up?
I don't know. It's just one of those day when ambivalence seems to be in charge. This breakout from the blankie fort which I embarked on last week is proving to be somewhat daunting this week. It was fun but now I look out at the sea of options before me - things I could do, things I ought to do, things I want to do, and things that others want me to do - and I'm lost in a whine of indecision. I may be free of the blankie fort, but uncertainty dogs my days. Should I go, or should I stay?
Either way I slice it, nothing will get done if just sit here stewing and then I'll be really annoyed with myself for having arrived at the end of the day with nothing to show for it. There are times when empty days are exactly what one needs to restore balance, but I know that for me, this is not one of them. So I'm just going to grab my mask and push off into this day without a plan and see what happens.
And that's the way it is at the top of Week 23.
©2020 April Hoeller
WE have not gone to a restaurant yet. I was invited to a baby shower and declined which I felt bad about but just could not face eating and hobnobbing with people I may not know and so on and so forth. But at the barn life seems pretty much normal. So I'm six of one and half a dozen of the other!
ReplyDeleteOne foot out, one foot in - Yup sounds about right. I do envy you the almost normal barn. It has such a central place in your life, Leueen. Good on ya!
Delete"There are times when empty days are exactly what one needs to restore balance"
ReplyDeleteThat's what I've chosen for today!
Good on you, Jon! The best learning that maturity has given me is that there is nothing wrong with taking a day (or a few days) to just do nothing. Often it is the kindest, best gift I give myself. Best wishes!
DeleteStay safe. Stay sane.
April