Monday Meander - April 20, 2020

Report from the blankie fort - Week 6

I sauntered into my kitchen this morning to hear my late mother's voice echoing in my brain, "Look who woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!"







Yup, that's right. I woke up in a bad mood that not even brilliant sunshine could disperse. Everything annoys me this morning. A restless night was fertile ground for the growth of just such a foul temper.









I was getting somewhat comfortable with my life in isolation, I was settling into new routines, I was beginning to feel safe and secure. I had become confident and somewhat content with the apple cart of my life under quarantine.

That apple cart lost its wheels with the news of the worst mass shooting ever in my country. At this writing, eighteen citizens are dead, including one RCMP constable. Newswires are reporting that the death toll may rise as the investigation continues. The alleged shooter is also dead.

I don't get it! I can't make any sense of such atrocious violence.

I have the privilege of sitting with the news of this senseless act in the comfort of my home some 1700km away from where it all happened. My distress is nothing compared to that of Portapique and surrounding communities in Nova Scotia. My distress is microscopic alongside the grief and loss of the bereaved, for whom the opportunity to say goodbye, to gather to celebrate the lives of their loved ones, will be necessarily restricted by the pandemic measures.

My grumbling bad temper this morning and my angry questions about how and why this happened in my country, have no place beside their sorrow, their shock, their questions. Honestly, my apple cart is still pretty much full of good things on this sunny day in rural southern Ontario. The best thing that I can do is pay my respects as I am able, fill my heart with compassion for all then put the wheels back on my apple cart so that I can make the very best of another day, another week under the siege of COVID-19.

Thank you for your service Constable Heidi Stevenson. Thank you to the RCMP and all first responders who attended this horrific incident. May all the bereaved find support and comfort.

©2020 April Hoeller

Thursday or Thereabouts - April 16, 2020

Approaching the end of week 5 of lockdown, I'm thinking about all that would have been had this virus not invaded the land. The vacations, the family birthdays, the shopping when and where I wanted, walks along forest trails...Well, that got depressing rather quickly!

Then I wondered what I would normally be doing today, April 16, 2020. I would be going to the gym for a one-hour boot camp style workout followed by a quick shop at the vegetable market looking for colourful fresh ingredients to brighten meals, then straight back home to prepare a week's worth of suppers for the man.

What's that you say, a week's worth just for one person? Yup, because I would have also been getting ready to escape on my annual writer's retreat and rather than just five days, this time it was going to be a whole week at Elmhirst's Resort. The retreat has not been canceled but rather postponed until the golden days of  October, so today I'm free to revel in the glowing memory of past writing retreats.

Trolling through these photos, my shoulders drop, my breathing slows, a cozy warmth flows out from my belly to fill my whole being, my mind let's go of all angst and what begins as a slight smile grows into a full-face grin. 

I am comforted. I am inspired. I am writing.

Take Care.

Be well.

Be safe at Home.

Write.

©2020 April Hoeller 

Monday Meander - April 13, 2020

Report from the blankie fort - Week 5
Oh, my godfathers! Are we all still here?!

The Easter Bunny, that essential worker of the month, hopped in and out this weekend. I'm happy to say that despite the restrictions my efforts to make this Easter at least "good enough" actually worked, beginning with breakfast. The only time the man and I eat breakfast together is when we're on holiday and someone else is doing the cooking. But yesterday I rustled together this feast of blueberry buttermilk pancakes and bacon - what is a feast without bacon? - all bathed in butter and local maple syrup.

But I pinned most of my hopes on staging an outdoor Easter egg hunt for my granddaughter. I've never done that before and though the wind played havoc with the bunny trail - I had to put stones on the paw tracks - it did not rain and the sun occasionally brightened the landscape.

And I got the blessing of a lifetime watching from afar that little almost fourteen-month-old embark on her first Easter egg hunt with her Mom and Dad, who I think had almost as much fun as their little one did. I am grateful for camera zoom lenses!

Each plastic egg held a small cheddar bunny cracker. Once opened the cracker was eaten and the egg discarded, left behind in search of the next treat. Collecting the eggs in a basket was something for parents to do. It was an hour of delight in the fresh air that made Easter - the COVID-19 edition - the best it could be.

So, now what? The pandemic lockdown continues. What began as two weeks became three, then four and now five with no clear end in sight. I'm hoping May will bring some relief, at the very least warmer weather, flowers, sunshine, and BBQ's on the deck.

May 5, 2019 

In western Christian tradition, Easter Day kicks off a fifty-day season of celebration, Eastertide or the Great Fifty Days. I'm not confident that I, or for that matter any of us still held in check by the siege of COVID-19, will be able to claim these days as great ones. But just as I made Easter good enough, might I be able to do something to make each one of the fifty days between now and May 31 good enough? Now there's a challenge!

Day 1 was yesterday and it was beyond good enough.
Day 2 is today and I'm calling it good because I got this blog post done.
Only 48 more to go!



©2020 April Hoeller

Thursday, or Thereabouts - April 9, 2020

Today is Maundy Thursday in the western Christian tradition. Tonight churches following a sacramental tradition, would usually begin the Paschal Triduum, the three day period of liturgical observances that leave Lent behind and usher in the Easter season. But tonight will be different. Tonight there will be no people in the pews. This year The COVID-19 pandemic has the world in its grips, isolating us from our families, our friends, and our faith communities.

image: Alexandra Koch - pixabay.com

Though there will be some of the usual decorations around and about, there will be no festive family meal at my house this weekend. No ham with scalloped potatoes and spring veg to be shared among our children, their spouses, and a granddaughter. The house will not resonate with laughter, loud stories or silly jokes.

We are a family of blended faiths and traditions. Our Easter is shared with those celebrating Passover (Hebrew greeting: Chag Pesach Sameach!) and those who will celebrate the Pascal Feast a week from now in accordance with the Julian calendar (Serbian greeting: Hristos vaskrse, and the response: Vaistinu vaskrse). We are all struggling together but apart to celebrate these feasts of faith and family, courage and love.

Easter and Passover celebrate not only renewal and rebirth, but also a certain scrappiness and resilience, a certain indomitability of spirit. Hope and life triumphed over death and fear! We can rejoice in the fact that we are, at the very least, still alive. We can gather however we are able. And we can insist that the perfect not be the enemy of the festive.

Catherine Newman writing in the New York Times this week

Easter will be a hard story this year, so will Passover. There is nothing new in that. These festivals have always been hard stories just as they have been stories with beautiful endings.

What begins with darkness and fear ends with light and ...

I love this word. Be it whispered or shouted or sung, it is a word that for me is overflowing with gratitude, hope, humility, triumph, and joy. I cannot say it without a smile crossing my lips, a warmth rising in my heart, a tickling of joy sparkling through my soul. It is just the antidote to the siege of COVID-19.

I am blessed by the richness that family traditions bring to my table any and every day of the year. 

 I have plenty of food and clean water. 

I have warmth and shelter. 

I am blessed by love.

I am safe at home.

Alleluia! 

©2020 April Hoeller

Monday Meander - April 6, 2020

Report from the blankie fort - Week 4

As the siege of COVID-19 rages on, the world in which I live and move and have my being has shrunk. At times that loss of space and people, especially family, has been very discouraging, annoying, and indeed tearful. This past weekend, I cried as I watched the Easter family feast slide off the table of possibility. I then got into such a funk about it that I thought the unthinkable - don't bother putting out the Easter decorations!

This morning as I peeked outside of Fort Bear, I was greeted by a land sparkling brightly and Jack Frost's fine finger paintings on my windows.

A wonderful quiet joy eased its way into every cell, a full-body smile bubbled up, one that could not be erased or even muted by quarantines, masks, or anything else. So get out the Easter grass and eggs, the table runner and bunnies. Bake the bread.

It will be different, but Easter will happen and it will be joyful ... quietly.

Take Care.

Be well.

Please, STAY Home.

©2020 April Hoeller

Thursday, or Thereabouts - April 2, 2020

The sun is shining. The temperatures are warming. Spring is unimpeded, and perhaps even helped along, by our collective sheltering in place.

I think today is a day for flowers. They colour our world. They nourish bees, birds, and bunnies too, though I'm not best pleased about the rabbits!

Nevertheless, flowers bring such comfort, joy, and most of all hope.  May these blooms bring you a smile, a breath of fresh air and a respite from the tedium of social/physical distancing. All the following photos are from my garden last year.

Take Care.

Be well.

Please, STAY Home.

©2020 April Hoeller