I sauntered into my kitchen this morning to hear my late mother's voice echoing in my brain, "Look who woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!"
Yup, that's right. I woke up in a bad mood that not even brilliant sunshine could disperse. Everything annoys me this morning. A restless night was fertile ground for the growth of just such a foul temper.
I was getting somewhat comfortable with my life in isolation, I was settling into new routines, I was beginning to feel safe and secure. I had become confident and somewhat content with the apple cart of my life under quarantine.
That apple cart lost its wheels with the news of the worst mass shooting ever in my country. At this writing, eighteen citizens are dead, including one RCMP constable. Newswires are reporting that the death toll may rise as the investigation continues. The alleged shooter is also dead.
I don't get it! I can't make any sense of such atrocious violence.
I have the privilege of sitting with the news of this senseless act in the comfort of my home some 1700km away from where it all happened. My distress is nothing compared to that of Portapique and surrounding communities in Nova Scotia. My distress is microscopic alongside the grief and loss of the bereaved, for whom the opportunity to say goodbye, to gather to celebrate the lives of their loved ones, will be necessarily restricted by the pandemic measures.
My grumbling bad temper this morning and my angry questions about how and why this happened in my country, have no place beside their sorrow, their shock, their questions. Honestly, my apple cart is still pretty much full of good things on this sunny day in rural southern Ontario. The best thing that I can do is pay my respects as I am able, fill my heart with compassion for all then put the wheels back on my apple cart so that I can make the very best of another day, another week under the siege of COVID-19.
Thank you for your service Constable Heidi Stevenson. Thank you to the RCMP and all first responders who attended this horrific incident. May all the bereaved find support and comfort.
©2020 April Hoeller
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